


Breakdown

by orphan_account



Series: Angie [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Car Accidents, Childcare, Concern, Crying, F/M, Familial Relationships, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Gossip, Hospitals, Mental Breakdown, Nightmares, Sibling Bonding, Stress, Texting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, group chats, rejection of gender roles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-21 04:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9531020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Philip Hamilton is the victim in a hit and run, leaving his parents to drop everything and rush to his side hoping he wakes up.The smaller Hamiltons, Jimmy, Jack, Billy, Lizzie, and pip though don't go with them and stay home.under the sole care of their big sister Angie, whos already ready to pop from stress.





	1. Off to a bad start

**Author's Note:**

> Be prepared to feel like your heart gets ripped out

“Philip, can you go out and pick up a new charger? Pip is chewing mine death!” Angie called across the house, trying to wrestle the charger away from the baby. 

“You owe me! Look forward to not getting a birthday present now!” He called back, despite the fact that sending him out to go get her a chrager was probably doing him a favor. He was probably going to go to the store his friend Richard Price worked at, a boy Angie was sure Philip liked despite him always protesting that they were just friends.  
She was expecting him to go an extra few blocks out of his way to go to see Rick, and probably flirt with him, but not admit to it being flirting, calling it ‘Just being friendly to my friend’. 

“Stop the shit Philip! I know you’re going to go flirt on my dime, stop pretending otherwise.” Pip would not let go of the cord, how strong was his grip?

“Shut up Ang! Be back soon- I’m not even going to talk to Rick, so there!” He said on his way out the door.  
“Sure you’re not,” she grumbled still trying to get the cord away from the suprizingly strong one year old who was giving her the stink eye.  
Even as her attempts were beginning to get somewhere, their mother called from the living room,  
“Angie can you bring me some juice?”

After at last prying the charging cord from her infant brother, she grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge and brought both the baby and the juice to her mother in the living room. Pip was not happy with how she chose to carry him but that was neither here no there as this was the baby who decided to teeth on a $20 charge cord and obviously has no taste. 

“Here you go Mom, your juice and your last born,” said Angie handing over the juice and trying to hand over Pip.  
Meanwhile her mother took only the juice and absentmindedly said “Thanks,” pouring Lizzie a new cup of juice and continuing to try and braid her hair.

Rolling her eyes, Angie instead let Pip onto the floor to play which he took to very well, crawling over to a piled of dropped toys near the couch where Billy was sitting.

“So Billy what’s on?” asked Angie taking the opportunity to talk with her second youngest brother, plopping down next to him.

“Scooby Doo. It’s the zombie one,” he said simply, his eyes glued to the screen. He was enthralled by it obviously and wouldn’t be very good company.

“Uh huh. And where is everyone else?” in this house you would never know, and with Angie having recently come back inside from doing homework she needed to know what was up.

“Jimmy and Jack are upstairs and Daddy is at work still I think.”

“That sounds about right. So are you good for now Billy?”

“Yeah. Wanna watch Scooby doo with me?” he turned his puppy eyes towards her.

She didn’t give in, “Sorry buddy but I need to go make sure that our brothers arnt plotting world domination upstairs, and after that I need to clean my room. Keep an eye on Pip for me ok?” Pip looked pretty content biting on the arm of the GI Joe, thankfully we convinced everyone a while ago to keep all the small stuff from toys that Pip could choke on in their rooms, so all Pip could do was chew on the arms and legs.  
“ ‘Course Angie.” Billy nodded to so show her how seriously he was taking this and on that note Angie went upstairs to find her other brothers. 

“Jimmy?” she called while knocking on the door of Billy and Jack’s room. Jimmy was the more outspoken one and usually spoke for the both of them when they were together, so if they were in there….at not hearing any response, Angie opened the door to a room that was very empty of two pre-pubesent boys.

Damn. They were on the third floor then. 

“Jack! Jimmy!” she shouted going up the next staircase, hoping to preemptively get them away from her room, as she knew that it was a 50-50 chance that they were snooping in there. As she got eyes on the hallway she saw them quickly leaving her room.

Gotcha.

“Yes?” they asked trying (and failing) to look innocent. 

“I wanted to make sure you two weren’t causing trouble,” she said walking up to them and crossing her arms across her chest, trying to look the part of ‘Im not angry im dissapointed’, “To which I have to say I feel quite justified now. So what were you two doing in my room?”

“Looking to see if we could find the stick up your butt,” Jimmy decided to snark

“Is that right?”

“Yep,” he said at last realizing what he said to the most reliable parental figure in his life, clamming up completely. Smart move.

“What about you Jack? You also looking for the stick up my butt?” she turned towards the smaller boy, to whom she hoped to strike a fear of god using only her tone.

“N-no?” Good boy.

“In that case why were the two of you in my room?” Whatever they came up with was bound to be good…

“I k-kind of wanted to try a dress on?” Jack said sounding very unsteady, which made Angie stop short. Either her little brother was the best liar in the universe or he was telling the truth, no normal kid his age could lie like that.

“Wait, you-“

“Angie hes lying! It was me who wanted to try on your dresses!” Jimmy cut in, as always being protective of his little brother. 

“Woah guys, calm down. You’re not in trouble for this. Calm down and start at the beginning. Who here wants to try on my dresses?” she asked them, mind going a mile a minute. She didn’t want to call them liars for something like this-they would never trust her again! She instead tried her hardest to channel calm and patience. She would be surrportive. 

When both of them looked away from her and each other and raised their hands she let out a soft sigh. Why had they wanted to keep this from her? She took their hands and smiled at them, hoping that they weren’t just digging themselves into a hole of lies.

“Well lets get you two all dressed up then! They are gonna be pretty big on you but we can see what I can do,” she said leading them back into her room and sitting them on her bed. They sat there slack jawed as she started to dig through her half of the closet to find them dresses that may fir them better than the rest. 

“So who wants to go and try one on first?” she asked while digging, to know what color sould suit them more. These things were very important. Jack jumped up and volunteered immediately.  
Angie handed him a green dress and sent him into the ajoining bathroom to change, as he went in she switched her quest for looking for scarves she could tie around his waist for a belt, internally thanking the trend that made this fashionable at one point. 

After a few minutes she knocked on the door, “You doing ok in there? Need any help?”

“No I’m fine.”

“Ready to come out?”  
She was answered by a slowly opening door. 

When Jack stepped out of the bathroom he was greeted by applause. This shocked him clearly, acting almost shy which was a huge departure from his normal personality. The dress was big on him, which was naturally to be expected as he was a nine year old boy and the dress was designed for a teenager.

“You look great Jackie!” Angie gushed while tapering off her applause, which had him perk up.

“Really?” He looked to his older brother for confirmation- Jimmy wouldn’t lie to him he was sure of that. 

“Yeah Jack you do look great. You can see your arm muscules really well!” Jimmy said pointing to the sleevelessness of the dress. 

“I think we can make the look even better with a belt though- may I?” Angie said holding aloft a darker scarf, “Make it look less baggy on you.”

He nodded and she worked fast, tying the scarf arould his waist and having the dress be smoothes down a considerable amount by the new accessory. She then stepped away and directed him to a full length mirror so he could see how he looked. 

“I do look great!” he said admiring himself and doing some small twirls. He sounded both surprised and excited. 

“Me next Angie! Gimme a dress too!” Jimmy said sounding happy and pretty hyped about joining his little brother in dressed company. Angie smiled and pulled out a navy blue dress and pressed it into his hands, to which he zoomed into the bathroom to change into.

After he left Angie turned to Jack again. “You do like how you look in the dress?”

“Yeah! I do look great!”

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” Angie asked him with a slight smile on her face

“Yeah. Thanks for letting me wear your dress.”

“No problem. At least they’re being used by someone, I’ve been wearing less and less of them as time goes on, makes me feel a little guilty that they’re sitting here unused.”(I don’t want to make it easier for those who want to hurt me) “I’m also pretty psyched that you realize that clothes aren’t inherently gendered. That boys can wear dresses and skirts all they want.”

“I know Angie.”

“John look at me. Liking dresses doesn’t make you any less of a boy. You are John Church Hamilton for gods sake, the most manly young man I have ever met. And if you ever want a different name or nickname or don’t feel like a boy anymore, let me know ok? I don’t want you to ever feel alone. You are very important to me Jackie.” She said very seriously and was suddenly in possestion of an armful of little brother.

“Thank you so much Angie. You’re the best sister.” He said into her shoulder hugging hr tightly as she hugged back. 

“I LOOK FANTASTIC!!!” shouted Jimmy bursting back into the room and lightening the mood even more, strutting in the room and posing for his siblings.

“Good job getting that on Jimmy, want a belt for that? So you can astound us all with your radiance?” Angie offered while turning her attention to her scarf collection once more.

“I think I already look perfect but if you think that you can improve on perfection, try,” He said very dramatically. 

Angie rolled her eyes good naturedly and found a nice light blue sash for him, tying it for him. 

“So Jack what do you think?”

“I think we look awesome. We should find snapbacks to put on and then we will look perfect. Come on Jimmy!” He said then ran off.

Used to their antics Angie went into the bathroom and tried to make sense of what clothes went to what boy.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--//-/-/-/-/-/

A phone rang and Eliza Hamilton was a little distracted, trying to clean up after her three youngest, who were making a huge mess.

“Hello,” she answered absentmindedly, hoping that it was important and worth her not devoting her full attention to the chaos unfolding in front of her, “Eliza speaking.”

“Eliza Hamilton, mother of Philip Hamilton?” asked an unfamiliar voice on the other side of the phone.

“Yes? Who is this?” she said suddenly very focused on this call. 

“I am calling from Sibly Memorial Hospital, I’m afraid your son has been in an accident…”

Eliza sat down hard, feeling like her heart was torn out of her chest, “He was? Is he going to be ok? What happened?”  
“From what bystanders say it was a hit and run, hes lucky to have been so close to us when it happened. He is in Critical condtion.”

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-//

“ANGIE COME DOWNSTAIRS!!!”

Her mom sounded almost scared, which had Angie flying down the stairs faster than she ever had before. 

Coming to a stop so abruptly she wouldn’t be surprised to find skip marks in her wake she saw her mom looking like the world had ended.  
“Mom whats wrong?”

“Philip got hit by a car, I am going to go to the hospital to be with him, I need you to take care of your siblings until I get back. I’ll be calling your father on the way over, I’ll call you with news later.” She said quickly, handing her Pip who seemed upset because his mom was upset. 

After that, her mom ran out the door, barely remembering her keys in the rush to get to Philip as soon as humanly possible. 

And so Angie was left alone with her five little siblings.  
Completely without news of her brother who was her best friend.

For a week.


	2. Week from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip is in the hospital, his parents by his bedside waiting for him to wake up. 
> 
> a week told in disjointed bits.

“JIMMY! JACK! COME DOWNSTAIRS!!” Angie called, feeling very overwhelmed all of a sudden, holding a fussing baby and seeing her scared looking brother and sister staring at her.

When they came trooping downstairs they had snapbacks on that if you squinted may look like they went with the dresses. 

“Yes Angie?” Jimmy asked clearly losing whatever happiness he had more and more every minute by how destroyed everyone else looked. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Jack looking to see if anything immediately was amiss.

“Boys sit down I need to tell you something very serious.” She said leading them to sit down on the couch next to Lizzie and Billy, once they were seated she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. She had to be strong, be calm and a rock for her little siblings, she was all they had right now.

“Mom just went to the hospital, Philip was hit by a car. She said she will call with news later, but until then I’m going to be the one in charge,” she said and was only half surprised when it was met not with an uproar but with dead silence. Tears were welling up in their eyes, and she knew if she wasn’t holding Pip that all of them would be hugging her. 

“Is Philip gonna be ok?” asked Lizzie eventually, not understanding completely what was going on, but she did know that the phrase ‘hit by a car’ means Philip was hurt really bad. “When is he gonna be better and come home? He said he was gonna bring me a lollipop.”

“Lizzie,” Angie said crouching onto her level, (the baby was upset you don’t put upset babies down they cry and make you feel worse-), “Lizzie, Philip is hurt very badly. The doctors are trying to make him better but I don’t know when he’ll come home. Mommy and Daddy are with him making sure he gets better and keeping him company.” 

“Angie,” Jack sounded like he was going to cry, “Philip will get better right? Tell me he’ll get better.” 

“Mom said she will call when she knows more Jack, but I do think he will get better.” He had to.

/-//-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

“WHERE IS MY SON??” 

Somehow Alexander Hamilton got to the hospital faster than Eliza did, and burst in the door, concerned and loud and scared.

“Name?” asked the very unimpressed check in nurse.

“Philip Hamilton. He would have come in recently, I only got word of him being here recently.” He said frantically, terrified of what he would hear.

“It looks like Philip Hamilton was brought in twenty minutes ago and just got into surgery. He has several broken bones only able to be set with surgery and pins, as well as a lot of pressure on his brain. Would you like directions to the surgery waiting room?” she said not unkindly, sympathetic to his fear and concern. 

“Just tell me what floor it is, I can find it myself.” He said not wanting to wait longer than he had to

“Floor number seven. Good luck Mr. Hamilton, I hope your son gets better!” she called down the hall towards his back, having dashed off the moment he heard the floor number.

When he arrived at the waiting room, he sat down feeling completely useless.

After waiting what felt like forever, Eliza burst in and her eyes zoned onto her husband and she was in front of him interrogating like a flash.  
“Is he going to survive? Have you heard any news? Alexander what do you know?”

He took her hands, “Betsey I don’t know any more than you do, maybe even less.”

They could only sit and wait in the eerie quiet of the surgery waiting room.  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

“Will you read me a bedtime story?” asked Lizzie innocently, giving her big sister puppy eyes.

“Ok sweetheart, which one do you want?” Angie smiled at her despite how exhausted she was, “Do you want Madeline? It’s your favorite!”

Lizzie giggled, “Nooooo it’s your favorite! Not my favorite!”

“Nah, it’s totally your favorite Lizzie come on, ‘In an old house in Paris all covered in vines……’” she said to her giggly toddler of a sister. She was so glad she could pull this still, read Lizzie the book that she memorized by age five and not have to think really. Billy was being but to bed by Jimmy and Jack, just like every night. At this point she was almost positive that all they did was tell scary stories at night and treat it like a big sleepover-which every night was. 

When she left Lizzie and Pip’s room at last, making sure the baby monitor and nightlight were on, she stuck her head into the room the boys had taken over for the night.  
“Hey guys, all set for bed?” she asked and all of them turned to look at her like she caught them at something, but she couldn’t see any evidence as such. She couldn’t find it in her to check around the room, and they wouldn’t knowingly hurt each other so they would be fine.

“We’re fine!” piped up Billy from the ground.

“Alright then, I’ll be upstairs in my room if anyone needs anything. Sleep well.”

 

As soon as the door to her room was closed she leaned back on it and slid down. Why did this have to happen this week? The one week a year that teachers had a week long in-service and all the kids were home. A lot of their friends were away this week too, their families taking advantage of the week to go on trips, meaning that the kids were probably going to stay home the entire time. It was hard enough to deal with them when they were gone half the day, how was she supposed to do this nonstop until mom or dad came home? 

It was then that the full reality of the situation truly hit her, she saw Philip’s laptop open on his desk running screensavers as if he was going to be back at any moment. She remembered that it was her to send out Philip earlier, it was her fault he was even in the hospital? Angie felt herself a monster-what if Philip had died because she didn’t want to get her own damn things? 

A shiver ran up her spine, her mother hadn’t called her yet. What if her mom hadn’t called because she had wanted to keep them in blissful ignorance a little longer?

What if Philip was dead?

Being the only one on the third floor of the house meant that when she started to cry none of her little siblings could hear her and kept on sleeping. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

“When is Philip going to wake up?” Eliza asked the doctor when they came by, both her and her husband had been sitting in Philips room by his bedside ever since they were cleared to go in. It had been hours but every moment felt like an eternity when they were waiting for their son to open his eyes.

“Mrs. Hamilton-“

“Will he be okay?” Alexander cut in, looking like he was only a few moments from deserving to be in a hospital bed too. This was only slightly worse than usual so all the adults didn’t mention it. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton please let me speak.” The doctor said patiently, “Your son has had trauma to his head and abdomen, not to mention several broken bones and lacerations requiring stitches. For the operation we did make sure he would not wake up in the middle of it due to the delicate nature, so we used some anesthetic. It should have worn off by now and he could wake at any time.”

The Hamilton’s breathed a sigh of relief, “So how is he doing medical-wise?” Eliza asked settling down a little.

“The operation was a success, but the broken hip and arm may cause some trouble when he wakes as it is his right arm-“

“Philip is left handed.”

“Well that is going to be better news for him then, I am worried about his head though-we had to relieve some of the pressure in his skull because he would have suffered some brain damage if we had left it. We do need to get him in for tests to ensure his brain is not damaged when he wakes up. Call us if you notice anything or he wakes up.”

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The baby monitor woke Angie in the middle of the night, Pip was up and crying again.

She quickly and carefully picked her way down to the second floor and went to go pick up Pip before he could wake up any of his big siblings, other than her of course. Thankfully Lizzie wasn’t-girl could sleep through a fire- as she was always a pain to put back to sleep, especially with the way she started acting yesterday, throwing tantrums much more often and pouting. 

Pip had been standing up in his crib holding onto the bars and crying his eyes out like he was a young Bruce Wayne who learned the hard way to not go into alleyways with rich parents. He had looked at her coming in and cried harder, clearly not wanting to be picked up by her. Tough darts, this is who ya got kid.

“Hey Pip, what’s wrong? I’m here for you, calm down sweetheart.” She cooed at him picking him up and rocking him. “Oh no what’s wrong baby?” she asked sympathetic, checking his diaper-dry.

Pip didn’t speak, being too young for more than a word or two, which Angie considered the biggest shame in situations like this where talking would help a lot. He hadn’t mastered words for anything that could be helpful like ‘food’. Anything that would give her a clue as to what to do. 

When he decided the best course of action to take would be to cry harder, Angie decided the best course of action would be taking him downstairs away from those sleeping and attempt to give him a bottle.  
She had noticed yesterday that the supplies for baby food and such were far more extensive than she had previously would have thought, probably a combination of shopping day having been the day Philip got into the accident, earlier in the day obviously, and of how her father was a baby little. Either way she was not complaining that she had so much to choose from, but Pip would not eat.

“Why are you crying? What am I doing wrong?” she asked her little brother, close to tears herself at this point. 

“DADA!” Pip wailed and it suddenly clicked into place for her.

Their dad, while not the best at keeping schedules or being at home for dinner was usually at home by this time at night, which meant that he was awake and around when kids had nightmares and babies needed midnight snacks. When Angie was little she always knew to check her dad’s office first if she woke up in the middle of the night, he was the nighttime parent. If he was awake anyway may as well be a father. 

Pip probably had been lonely in the middle of the night tonight, so he cried to get his dad in there to get attention from his dad-who wasn’t home. 

“Pip I want Mom and Dad home too. I’m all you have right now though, can’t I be enough for now?” she told the baby. 

He didn’t calm down in the slightest.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Day three of Philip’s coma dawned. 

No change.  
His parents kept being told he could wake at any time, but comas were unpredictable things. 

They waited and didn’t notice when their phones died in their bags.  
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

CHATROOM: RPFanatics

Bee: does anyone know where angie has been im worried

*killer*: idk I haven’t been able to contact her

*killer*: she hasn’t been responding to texts

Lily <3: hope shes ok

Lily<3: shes usually here everyday

Lily<3: its been how long

Bee: three days since I noticed her absence, she said a day or so before that her mom needed something

Leia: she hasn’t accepted my calls either

*killer*: how often do you guys call again

Leia: what do you mean

*killer*: how often do you call her or vice versa, it aint rocket surgery

Leia: 1.we skype once a day usually, 2.stop mixing idioms

Leia: she hasn’t accepted any calls purposefully in three days though  
Lily<3: so she accepted them on accident?

Leia: if she answered them on purpose I don’t think she would cry halfway across the room for an hour and then hang up on me when she noticed my presence

Bee: she was crying?????

Bee: when did you call??

*killer*: poor angie

Leia: for me it was ~5am

Lily<3: leia wtf

Lily<3: no matter where you are that is not a good time to call you egg

Leia: 5 hr time difference you pillok

Leia: it was midnight for her and we all know she is always awake then

*killer*: tru

Leia: I do hate to say this but

Leia: seeing as all of you are closer to her than I am

Bee: America is big fuck no

*killer*: it would prob be faster for you to fly over

Xandra: yo yo wazzup

Lily<3: andy you live near angie

Xandra: should I be scared

Bee: scroll up and see what were talking about

Bee: shit yeah

Lily<3: is angie ok

Xandra:??

Xandra: we have off from school this week

Leia: why

Xandra: so I haven’t seen her. Whats wrong with her?

Xandra: we in America get randomass time off from school, one solid week a year and many days interspersed the other months, so our teachers can relearn how to teach us apparently. 

Leia: you lucky arseholes

Bee: do they not have that in archaic England

Bugg: me and andy are having a sleepover so I know the deal and want to say we will try to find out whats going on later. Her family isn’t exactly subtle at all.

Lily<3: good

Leia: im tired 

*killer*: then go the fuck to sleep

Xandra: I need to get that book so I could record myself reading it and send the video to whoever said theyre tired

Leia: *whomever

Leia: americans stop butchering my language

*killer*: y’all’d’ve been better off not sayin that y’r worshipfulness

Leia: its like cancer make it stop

Bugg: if you don’t want us to refrence star wars near you change your screen name you have the time

Leia: to this day I still have no idea if my parents realize my name could be shortened to references a fictional star wars princess

Bee: tag yourself as a star wars character

Bee: im r2d2

*killer*: k2so

Bugg: chewbaka

Xandra: chirrut

Xandra: I wonder who angd be

Leia: han solo obviously

Bee:…  
*killer*:…  
Lily<3:^

Xandra: leia do you have something to tell us?  
Bugg:^

Leia: NO

*killer*: sure jan

Leia: I AM BEING VERY SERIOUS

Leia: I AM JUST SPEAKING PERSONALITY WISE

Ann: i

Ann: wtf did I come into

Xandra: scroll up

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Taking care of five kids under the age of 12 for an extended period of time was a shitshow to say the least. 

Even though Angie had been one of their caretakers for a long time before the week started, all of them were acting like the world was ending because the parents were not there. 

The days were starting to blur together at this point, time management wasn’t her friend before this and it definatly wasn’t her friend now. She was so stressed making sure that all of them were not actively dying that everything that was going on with her had to take a step back when they were awake. 

She had so many nightmares (Philip wasn’t there to protect her Mom wasn’t there to protect her She wasn’t strong enough to fight him off alone…)when she slept she ended up just staying awake-no use trying to waste the precious time she had to herself on something as useless as restless sleep. She used the time to do essays and papers due months in advance, she wasn’t using the time anyway and this one paper was giving her trouble…..not sleeping did not help her horrifying perception of time of course. 

The waking hours were not great either, Billy decided he didn’t want anyone else to leave and attached himself to the closest person and was quiet and cried at a moment’s notice all the time, Lizzie was having such bad tantrums that were so nonstop that she ended up taking many naps and ate more food than usual to keep up with the energy loss, and Pip was not even pretending to be happy to have Angie instead of his Mom and dad. He wanted his Mama and Dada and was not afraid to show it.

Jimmy and jack, the two oldest in the house after her were no help at all, they just caused more problems. They were always causing some trouble upstairs or in the next room and were never anywhere when she needed help. 

She let them be, they were old enough to know how to basically not kill themselves unsupervised, and she had three lonely kids all crying at her at every waking moment so she made the hard decision to not confront them, after all if she did who would look after the babies?

Taking care of five kids was hard enough, taking care of five actively rioting kids while sleep deprived and alone was possibly the worst thing that ever could have happened to Angie. 

She couldn’t last much longer.  
-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

While waiting for Philip to wake up, 

(“Five days, they say if it reaches a week they will have to put him in the coma ward, but he’s so hurt if he wakes up it might hurt his recovery if he is in there.”)

Alexander opened his bag to perhaps read some papers or write something

(“You always get so lost in your work”)

What he found was a sketchbook, one that had a note on the front of it.

(“Dad I wanna show you something!”  
“Later Jimmy”)

‘Dad I feel like I never have time to show you these’  
He opened the sketchbook and was amazed at the quality of the art inside, his son made these?

(“Jimmy did our war paint for the nerf war dad you should have seen it-“)

His eleven year old son? 

(“Look at this dad, AJ showed me how to draw a dragon-“)

He showed the book to Eliza who did look like she needed some cheering up.  
“Have you seen these Betsey?”

(She had. Weeks ago when they were made.)  
-/-/-/-/-/-//-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Jimmy was starting to get worried.

He and Jack were causing so much trouble, mayhem that would usually get them sat down by Angie with her asking them patiently why they were doing this and if anything was wrong. 

Sure, Angie did have more to do this week but Angie always had been able to make time for them before.

“Jimmy it isn’t working…” Jack said looking heartbroken, “Angie is still ignoring us.”

“All we have to do is try harder, she can’t ignore us forever. She will grab us and sit us down to talk any day now, don’t worry Jacky.”

Angie was looking very tired these days, weird…..

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-//-/-/-//-/-/-/

Running out of food was a big eye opener for Angie. 

Eye opening to the terror that shopping with five children that fought her every step of the way would inevitably be.

She would never be able to watch them all, she only had two eyes after all and four of them were mobile. Even here at home she couldn’t watch them all and relied on screams of pain or distress to show her who needed attention. She would never be able to manage that in a crowded store. 

Then she thought up a plan that was so crazy it might actually work. If she put on a movie and put Jimmy in charge she might be able to manage a short trip. He was eleven and knew how to dial emergency numbers, and had a good head on his shoulders. Lizzie was potty-trained and wouldn’t need help going so he wouldn’t need to do that just in case she had to go. 

Bringing Pip with her to the store and leaving Jimmy home in charge of the others was a risky move, but it might be just enough to work. It was a short trip, what could-  
(PHILIP WAS HIT BY A CAR ON A SHORT TRIP YOU WANT TO PUT PIP IN DANGER LIKE THAT???? WHAT IF YOU GET HIT BY A CAR TOO AND THEY ARE LEFT HOME ALONE THEY WOULD BE SO SCARED AND ALONE AND YOU WOULD FAIL THEM ANGELICA RACHEL HAMILTON) her anxiety shouted at her. 

In the end no matter how afraid she was she still had to go, she needed to feed her little siblings.

She put in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, made sure that Jimmy Jack and Billy all knew the numbers of anyone they could call in case of emergency, and packed up Pip to go to the store. 

When she got there she quickly got a cart and plopped her little brother down in it, she would have to do this quickly. The explosions in the movie at home would only hold the kids attentions for so long and Pip would only suck on his pacifier for so long before demanding another phone cord sacrifice. 

Dashing around the store to get everything that her family would need, she didn’t notice until she was in line at checkout how everyone was staring at her and whispering to each other. 

“Kids these days are so irresponsible-“

“You think she knows who the father is?”

“Wonder if sleeping around was worth the punishment?”

Oh my god. They thought that Pip was her son. 

“Kids these days need to keep their legs shut and do more sports, they’re too lazy and become things like that” 

“Shes ruining her life why didn’t she give him up”  
“No one would want a baby that looked like that.”

Angie was ready to flip out and attack these people, how dare they say that about her adorable baby brother! How dare they say those things about her! She forced herself to think of how Jimmy, Jack, Billy, and Lizzie were at home waiting for her. The cops would be called on a nonwhite ‘teen mom’ that punched ‘good upstanding members of the community’ for ‘no reason’. 

She didn’t want to ruin her family, she kept her mouth shut, paid, and left. 

Who said she would even want kids?

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“Pa...” said a raspy voice a week to the day of the accident, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“PHILIP!” his parents perked up and showered their eldest son with attention. “How are you feeling? Does anywhere hurt? What can you remember?”

“My throat feels dry. Can I have some water?”

Philip listened intently as his parents filled him in on what happened in the las week, George Eaker being caught as the hit-and-run driver that was the reason he was here, the police thinking it had something to do with an argument a week before (“He called you unpatriotic dad, you should have heard the shit he said about you, you would not take that lying down and I was not about to-“ Philip had cut in about the fight which made his mother tell him to drink more water and let them finish), how he was in a coma for a week, how they never left his side the whole time they were so worried-

“Wait, you both have been here a week? How has everyone else reacted?” He asked getting a horrible suspicion. 

“Everyone else?” his mother asked

“Your other children? My siblings?” 

They both had looks of guilt, “We only wanted to call with good news-“

“Call? Neither of you have been home?”

“They’re fine there, Angie is responsible.”

Fuck.

“Call them right now. Please. I want to know how Angie is.” Oh no. Oh fuck no. Angie was alone with kids that working together were almost impossible to handle, and shes been under so much stress already-

“Oh I guess our phones died at some point and we didn’t notice.”

“Can one of you go home and check in on them then? I want to have Angie come in and visit me, she always makes me feel better.”

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Alexander headed home, ready to see his other children as well as get far away from the hospital.

He had been so scared that Philip wasn’t going to make it, but now all he could feel was exhaustion and the desire to see his children again. He wondered how they had been in his absence. 

As soon as he walked through the door he was hit by several small beings at once, Lizzie and Jack!

“Hello, have you been good for your sister?” 

Lizzie attached herself to his leg, “Yes.”

Jack took a more conventional route, “I was just about to escort Lizzie upstairs for her nap,” He said still hugging his dad tightly. 

“Oh is it nap time Lizzie?” he smiled at his daughter who shook her head. 

“No naps are bad!”

 

After he convinced Lizzie to nap he went back downstairs and saw that the house was pretty normal looking for having six kids in it. Billy was watching a movie on TV and attached himself to his dad too when he saw him. 

“Alright alright, I missed you both too, but I need to talk to your sister where is she?” he smiled tired at his sons.

“Kitchen with Jimmy.”

 

Angie and Jimmy were indeed in the kitchen ad both swiveled to see who was coming in when they heard the steps. Jimmy was putting a frozen pizza on a cookie sheet and Angie was feeding Pip a bottle. 

“You’re home.” Angie’s eyes met his and he couldn’t help but feel like something was off with her, that there was something missing. She came right up to him and he was expecting a hug and got…Pip. She was handing him Pip and the bottle.  
As soon as he got a hold of his son and the bottle Angie was gone, running. Probably a little overwhelmed and wanted to go sleep.

When he was done feeding Pip he put him down for a nap too, and the three other boys seemed happy after a few minutes of talking with him to go watch some war movie.

Alexander, with nothing else to do, took it upon himself to find Angie. She was the only one he didn’t get to talk with yet after all, and he needed to tell her about Philip. 

He bypassed her open bedroom door on the third floor, she never kept the door open if she was inside, and headed straight up to the attic where she had the blanket fort where they had nice times together. Maybe it could be a quiet time today too, he could use just quiet. 

The first thing he noticed was the sobbing as he was climbing the stairs, it carried well in such an open space. 

He got to the top, concerned as to why his little girl was crying, was she hurt too?

“Angie what’s wrong?” he asked the crying teenager, kneeling down next to her in the blanket fort.

She grabbed him, and buried her face in his shirt, moving closer to him every time he adjusted his position. 

He ended up sitting with her pretty much in his lap, her arms wrapped tightly around his chest as she sobbed into his front. He held her like he used to when she had nightmares, half cradle half hug. 

“Angie what’s wrong why are you crying?” 

She only sobbed harder, and harder still every time he asked. 

After a while he knew he had to do something, the younger kids were downstairs and would need supervision but he couldn’t just leave his daughter.  
(“She reminds me of you Alexander”) 

He called Angelica, who had just gotten back from a trip to her fathers to come look after his five youngest for a little while, he couldn’t explain now. Angie wouldn’t stop crying or holding onto him like a lifeline the whole time, which probably was the deciding factor for Angelica to help. 

With the younger children taken care of he could focus solely on Angie again. 

“Angie what happened? What’s wrong?” he asked her gently, holding her.

When the sobs started to have slurred only half intelligible words put between them, his blood ran cold. 

Angie took the sudden stiffness of his shock and anger and terror about what happened the wrong way and stopped talking. 

After Angelica put the kids to sleep hours later she looked up in the attic and saw Alexander holding his seventeen year old daughter like she was the most precious thing in the world while she was still crying inconsolably into his shirt.


End file.
